There will only be one dog, though. Today, our old dog was put to sleep, and she died here, peacefully in her basket. Donna was 13 years old, and she had lived all her life here in this house. Which is why we made the decision to let her stay here, the place she grew up in, and the garden she loved so much. It felt like it was unfair to bring her up to a new house, an unfamiliar one with almost no garden - and she was getting very old those last weeks of her life. So very old and tired, slow as a snail when out walking.
My heart is breaking, and I have cried more or less all day. Donna was the heart of the family, a wild wacky dog who never did anything slow until the last months of her life, that is. We used to say that we picked out the wrong puppy - we were gonna have the calm one, but instead it turned out to be the one with one gear - go, go, go! Still, life with Donna was never boring. She guarded us against all cats, dogs and anything else passing on the bike path outside our house - and loved every person who came through the front door. We used to say that she would do the same for a burglar - yes, yes, yes...pet me, take me with you, please!
The garden was what Donna loved most, that, and getting to go along out into the forest. The whole family was involved with scouting, so Donna got to come along on all outtings. She loved that. All the food she could eat, and get to run around in the forest all day? Heaven. She was not always popular with the scouts, though. At one particular weekend, we were camped by a lake, sleeping in a big military tent together. Being a labrador, Donna loved water, and the first thing she did in the morning was to run straight out into the lake, and then back - into the tent where she ran over all the people in sleeping bags - soaked and absolutely loving it. The scouts were not quite as happy, though.
Donna was also the mother of two litters of puppies. They were adorable, and from the second litter, we had Callisto, Donna's daughter, who is right now wandering around in the house, looking for her mother. Maybe she is finally realizing that Donna isn't here any more, and won't come back. My little neurotic dog......it must feel so confusing to see the house get all emptied, all the people disappearing. Maybe that is why she is even more neurotic than usual.
Darling Donna, dockehunden min, snusse hund...so many names, so much love. We will miss you so much...and you will be in our hearts forever.
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message She is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
She was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever: I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now; put out every one,
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun,
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the woods;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
W.H. Auden
